Saturday, April 19, 2008

A Clean Break

Dear Method 25oz. Dish Soap,

I love you. I love your beautiful, sleek bottle, your hip, subtle colors and your fresh, clean scents (especially you, cucumber and pink grapefruit.) I also love the fact that, like all Method products, you're non-toxic and environmentally friendly. At almost $4 a bottle, you're way more expensive than the other dish soaps, but I buy you anyway. Yes, make that way more expensive - I believe with their sale price and a couple of coupons, I could get one of your competitors and they'd end up owing me $2.95. But such is the price of love.

But I'm afraid form over function has gotten the better of you. Your sleek, shiny body with its clean lines looks great on my kitchen sink, but isn't meant to be picked up with soapy hands. Did you know you turn into a missile with the right combination of water and suds? In fact, just today you slipped out of my grasp , bounced off my espresso machine and went careening off the counter, narrowly missing my cat. Boy was he pissed.

Also, your spout sucks. After repeatedly getting clogged, and me having to repeatedly clean it, I finally ripped your entire top off today. You're not nearly as attractive now.

So, Method 25oz. Dish Soap I'm afraid I've reached the end of the line with you. The next time I'm at Target and I'm tempted to reach for your fetching body, I'll remember all the heartache you caused me the last time I was washing dishes, and I'll reach for one of your less attractive, cheaper shelf-mates instead.

xxxxoooo,
Sweatpantsmom

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So I'm pretty sure that practicality reigns over aesthetics any day. I don't know whether it's an asian thing to be stingy when it comes to buying little things like soap, but we can sure as hell buy other people awesome things we don't even have.. like a portable DVD player. It wouldve been better in MY dorm room, instead of my friend Margaret's house. (have you ever done something like that?...bought something for someone else and thought....well maybe i should keep this.. and give them this half eaten box of macadamia nuts from trader joes) Anyways, I'm in college and we have a communal kitchen. There's a radisson hotel one-use lavender lotion bottle that my mom kept because she figured she might have a use for it one day- well she spent 4 dollars on standard priority shipping from CA to NC in order to send me this tiny hotel lotion bottle filled with dish soap so that I could wash my dishes after i cook my beef flavored ramen noodles. I still haven't told her that I tossed the microwavable bowl she sent. It was growing mold after I made easy mac a few times in it and I didn't feel like cleaning it anymore. I now use paperware, which requires no soap. problem solved?

Gudrun said...

this is funny - reminds me of the time I bought one of those oil jars to use as a dish soap dispenser, trying to be trendy. Turns out I have a soapy wet *glass* missile on my hands. Not pretty!

Oh, the things we do to make sure our kitchens are the height of fashion :-)

BTW, the Method Bodywash I bought at CostCo was 1/2 the cost of the Dove stuff....

Anonymous said...

Yes, I love buying Method products, too, at Target. The spray bottles all look so beautiful and smell so nice. But the stainless steel cleaner doesn't work--at all. And the air freshener vase with the sticks in it--that stuff smells really awful. Don't buy that, either.

carrie said...

That bottle needs a good set of grippers on it.

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